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From: gkm@petting-zoo.net (glen mccready)
To: 0xdeadbeef@petting-zoo.net
Cc: bostic@bostic.com
Subject: New Medications.
Date: Sun, 18 Aug 2002 11:31:21 -0700
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Forwarded-by: Rob Windsor <windsor@warthog.com>
Forwarded-by: "Rich Holland" <holland@guidancetech.com>
Forwarded-by: Diane <djbscm@interkan.net>

S t . M o m ' s W o r t
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering
preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

E m p t y N e s t r o g e n
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by
enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and
how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P e p t o b i m b o
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed
before an evening out increases breast size, decreases
intelligence, and improves flirting.

D u m e r o l
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q.
causing enjoyment of country western music.

F l i p i t o r
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road
rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

A n t i b o y o t i c s
When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in
improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money
spent on make-up.

M e n i c i l l i n
Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to
such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can
we get naked now?"

B u y a g r a
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases
potency and duration of spending spree.

E x t r a S t r e n g t h B u y-O n e-A l l
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate
buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a
Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

J a c k A s s p i r i n
Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your
birthday, anniversary or phone number.

A n t i - t a l k s i d e n t
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too
eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

R a g a m e t
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation
as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and
trouble of doing it herself.