srand
;
$VERSION
=
'0.04'
;
my
@Grunts
= (
'Does it get bigger?'
,
'I thought eight inches was longer than that.'
,
'Baseball...'
,
"Let's talk about our relationship."
,
'Wrong hole, dear.'
,
qw(Yes!
Oh!
Harder!
YEAH!
YES!
OOOooooh...
Baby.
MORE!
Mmmmmm...
There!
)
);
sub
import
{
local
$| = 1;
my
(
$class
) =
shift
;
my
(
$caller
) =
caller
;
if
( !
@_
) {
die
"It takes two to tango, babe.\n"
;
}
elsif
(
@_
== 1 ) {
if
(
$_
[0] eq
$caller
) {
die
<<MASTURBATION;
masturbation
n : manual stimulation of the genital organs (of yourself or
another) for sexual pleasure [syn: {onanism}, {self-abuse}]
MASTURBATION
}
else
{
die
"Parthenogenesis isn't currently supported by "
.
__PACKAGE__ .
"\n"
;
}
}
my
@modules
=
map
{ /^\?$/ ? volunteer() :
$_
}
@_
;
my
%zygote
= ();
my
$call_sym_table
= \%{
$caller
.
'::'
};
foreach
my
$gamete
(
@modules
) {
eval
"use $gamete(); 1"
or
next
;
while
(
my
(
$chromo
,
$rna
) =
each
%{
$gamete
.
'::'
} ) {
push
@{
$zygote
{
$chromo
}},
$rna
;
}
}
while
(
my
(
$chromo
,
$rna
) =
each
%zygote
) {
$call_sym_table
->{
$chromo
} =
$rna
->[
rand
@$rna
];
print
$Grunts
[
rand
@Grunts
],
"\n"
;
}
print
"\n"
;
return
'Harry Balls who?'
;
}
sub
volunteer {
my
@volunteers
=
map
{s/\.pmc?$//;s!/!::!g;
$_
}
keys
%INC
;
$volunteers
[
rand
@volunteers
];
}
return
'Harry balls anyone he wants!'
;